The world of show business was in disbelief last night after light entertainment legend Bruce Forsythe announced that he's to quit showbiz to captain a Japanese whaling vessel.

 

Speaking to reporters outside his Surrey home, the star of Strictly Come Dancing and The Generation Game said " Alright my loves? After a great deal of soul searching and discussions with my family I've decided to turn my back on my showbiz career to skipper a Japanese whaler and go hunting for Sperm Whales in international waters in the southern hemisphere. I've become disillusioned with show business of late, particularly as a number of my friends and colleagues have been exposed as having been serial sex offenders over a number of years. Even my great pal and golfing partner Jimmy Tarbuck is suspected of being a bummer for God's sake. I just felt that the time was right for a sea change in my career, so when the opportunity to become master of a whaling vessel presented itself I grabbed the opportunity with both hands. I see it as a chance to not only reinvent myself but also to put the showbiz world in a far better light than we've seen of late"

 

A spokesman for Forsythe's show business agency said "While we wholeheartedly support Bruce in his new chosen venture and wish him every success hunting and killing whales with exploding harpoons, we don't want him to come whining to us when his house is fire-bombed in the night by activists from Greenpeace or his missus gets slagged off in Waitrose"