Scene 1: A stormy sea 10 miles off the coast of Great Yarmouth. The skipper of a tiny fishing vessel is making a distress call.

 

"Attention all shipping. Mayday! Mayday! This is the skipper of The Mayfair Whelk out of Lowestoft. We have been blown off course and are foundering in heavy seas. The compass is broken and we are using dead reckoning to steer. Our current position is unknown but we have spotted a large marker buoy 25 deg off the starboard bow. Helmsman attempting to steer towards it now. Save our souls!"

 

Scene 2: The Mayfair Whelk collides with the buoy which seems to upset it somewhat 

 

"Ah say boy! What in tarnation do y'all think you're a doin'? Why ah ain't tekkin' a lickin' like dat since mah granpappy caught me in the cotton field foolin' 'round with his coon dawg! You better git while the gittin's good you limey sonofabitch or ah swear ah'll dust yo' pants for ya boy! Godammit, ah swear ah aint heard such a hullabaloo since mah mamma done lynched an uppity nigra fo' sweatin' without permission in the cotton field!. Now 'less you goin' give me a plate o' grits or a shot of redeye, you better skidaddle boy afore ah fill yo' candy ass full o' lead. Yep, dat's mah rulin'!"