Dear Soz Satire

 

I thought that this year, for the first time in 69 years, I would make, and keep, some New Year Resolutions.

Then I looked up Resolution on Google and got: Decision/Settlement, so I decided to look up Settlement and got: Arrangement.

A flower arrangement?

 

So I looked up Arrangement and got: Alteration. So I looked up Alteration and got: Mutation.

Looking up Mutation I got Deviant.

Deviant like that naughty web-site that gives girls bigger breasts?

 

So I looked up Deviant and got: Queer. So I looked up queer and I got: Eccentric.

An eccentric kettle?

 

So I looked up eccentric and got: Offbeat.

Offbeat, like a bad musician?

 

So I looked up Offbeat and got: Unorthodox

Like the Greek Holy blokes?

 

So I looked up Unorthodox and got: Crazy, which I would be if I made any New Years Resolutions.

So I didn’t!

 

Yours etc

Gerald Chambers 'Inchcock' (Deceased)...ish.

 

                               ***********************************************

 

Dear Soz Satire

 

In Michael Jackson's smash hit single, Black Or White, he quite clearly says: "If you're thinkin' about my baby it don't matter if you're black or white"

 

Well I disagree. I'm a black South African who was beaten bloody with a rhino whip after complimenting a white police officer on the size of his wife's tits.

 

Once again it's a case of overpaid pop stars failing to get to grips with the racial divide in some parts of the African continent.

 

Yours faithfully

 

Clarence Rourke's-Drift

Prison