The touring England ladies cricket team came under heavy fire last night following complaints from the rival Australian team that a number of the victorious tourists had used the ladies toilets to relieve themselves in at The Sidney Cricket Ground, following the team's narrow 6 run victory in the 3rd one day international between the two sides, giving England a 2-1 lead with one match remaining in the rubber.
Madge Sullivan, 23, the Aussie skipper told The Sidney Morning Herald "Myself and a few of my team mates went into the England dressing room to congratulate them after the game and to share a few frosties. At first everything was perfectly amiable until we noticed a few of the England girls, who were quite clearly the worse for wear, going into the dressing room dunny and remaining in there for minutes at a time before emerging looking extremely pleased with themselves. I wasn't born yesterday and can only assume they were using the facilities to empty their bladders or even worse.
A Wild Slash. England's Lady Cricketers Cause A Stink Down Under
Clive Danton - September 2013
At one point the door opened and I heard a noise coming from one of the traps that sounded like somebody emptying a sack of King Edwards into a bucket. To say we were shocked and disgusted is an understatement. Suffice to say I led my ladies back to our own dressing room where we urinated in each others kitbags, or in the sinks, before heading back to the team hotel where our wicketkeeper pinched one off into the doorman's cap after he left it unattended on a chair. I don't want anyone thinking this is sour grapes on our part but both myself and my team mates found the Pom's behaviour both disrespectful and disgusting"
The England team coach Angela Battersby, 45, said "If these allegations are true then obviously we'll have to look into it. There's no way we as a team can condone this type of behaviour, no matter what the circumstances. I'll be asking the ladies to lead by example in future and to relieve themselves, whether it be number ones or twos, either on the pitch, or at the very least, on the outfield, just like our Ashes winning male counterparts have allegedly done"
A spokesman for the Australian Ladies Cricket Association also spoke out. "Stone the bloody crows! You're having me on right? It's a bit bloody rich when professional sportswomen cant set a good example. Suffice to say we'll be locking all the dunny doors at The Gabba for the next match in two weeks. The Poms will just have to have a slash or drop the kids off at the pool in inappropriate places like the bloody rest of us"
A member of the Australian Ladies Cricket Association checks grimly for evidence.
