A husband and wife, famous for posting large boxes containing sage and thought provoking homilies on their Facebook timelines, have admitted to reporters that in actual fact they're extremely stupid, bordering on being mentally deficient, and that none of the homespun philosophy they post reflects their own take on life in general.

 

Vera and Steven Mills, both 32, decided to come clean after they were bombarded with questions on Cartesian philosophy and the meaning of life by hundreds of their Facebook friends, who had been hanging on their every word on a daily basis for over 5 years.

 

"It's been a nightmare" said Mrs Mills, a school dinner lady and part time Avon representative. "I'd get home from work absolutely shattered only to have somebody on my timeline wanting to know Plato's take on marital fidelity in Greece before the birth of Christ when all I really wanted to do was sit on the couch in my PJs and watch Geordie Shore with a mug of cocoa"

 

Mr Mills, a caretaker at the same school, echoed his wife's feelings "Why people think we're intelligent I have no idea. All we do of an evening is search online for these boxes with long words in them and post them to our timelines. I mean to say I left school with a CSE in woodwork and Vera can barely read and write. Yet only last night I had a PM from a woman asking me for my thoughts on a treatise by Jean Paul Sartre outlining existentialism within the Marxist movement in 20th century France. I felt like telling her to piss off to be honest with you but I didn't want to be rude so I sent her a box containing advice on the importance of cherishing your mum before she dies. I never heard anything back so hopefully she was satisfied"

 

The couple have now closed their Facebook accounts and have joined Pinterest where they intend to restrict their online activities to posting pictures of their back garden and making casual racist slurs.