Rumours of match fixing in soccer in The Far East rumbled on last night as it was revealed that a Malaysian 1st division side had fielded an 11 that included a dead goalkeeper. This was coupled, with what bookmakers called, unusual betting patterns, after a number of bets were laid on correctly forecasting the eventual score of 35-0 to the team's opponents.

 

Match officials claim they first became suspicious when they noticed that the player concerned appeared to be fixed to a small wheeled platform and had a long steel rod protruding from his back which enabled the team coach to move him from side to side and to raise him from the ground to flap at crosses.

 

There were also complaints, voiced by a number of spectators behind the goal, about the smell. One eagle-eyed fan even claims to have spotted small tufts of horse hair stuffing coming out of the keeper's back when he was clattered by the opposing team's centre forward during a tussle for the ball.

 

The Malaysian Football Association were unavailable for comment last night, but a spokesperson told us that they'd be happy to make a statement as soon as they all got back from a 6 month break in Bali.

 

In a somewhat bizarre twist, an English soccer club have expressed an interest in signing the deceased shot stopper. Millwall FC, who are currently languishing in the lower reaches of the championship, issued a statement saying. "The boy clearly has problems but we're confident that given time we'll be able to breathe new life into him and anyway he has to be an improvement on the bloody clown we've got between the sticks at the moment"