Three dentists from Dorking have been arrested today following the discovery that they have been extracting teeth from people who don’t need to have them extracted, and selling them in bulk to the tooth fairy.

 

“The going rate for a molar these days, is a quid,” said detective in charge of the investigation, jenny Darme. “You can get up to two pounds for a pristine incisor with no decay.”

 

Investigation into the Dorking Dentists has uncovered a possible nationwide conspiracy into tooth theft and resale to the Tooth Fairy.

 

“We have discovered parents having to supplement the tooth fairy’s contributions for teeth,” said Darme. “Apparently, British dentists are supplying the tooth fairy with sufficient teeth that she no longer needs to visit individual houses looking for the odd pre-molar.”

 

Dentists generally are only extracting teeth that are required, but they have lately been supplementing their quotas by extracting teeth that are not just fine, but perfect.

 

“They’ve been using the excuse of it being a hidden problem in a tooth, damage that can’t be seen,” said Darme. This has meant that Dentists are over charging for removing the teeth, and then making a little extra selling them onto the tooth fairy. “How hard is it to remove a tooth? Pretty simple. Kids pull them out using a whole range of ingenious methods, like a door, a remote control car or a quantum tunnelling teleportation device knocked up in the basement. How can that cost three hundred quid? Well, it does.”

 

Most people would think that earning three hundred pounds for a single tooth would mean that the one pound from the tooth fairy would not be worth bothering with, but apparently, these three dentists at least, are willing to go the extra mile and earn the extra pound.

 

“We found sacks and sacks of teeth at the Dorking Dentist Centre,” said Darme. “Worth thousands of pounds. They’re just waiting for the tooth fairy to arrive and cart them away for a big windfall. All completely tax free.”

 

Jimmy Carr is said to be very interested in the tax free possibilities of teeth.

 

Defendants for the Dorking Dentists have tried to claim that the teeth were being stored ready for destruction, and that the tooth fairy doesn’t exist. This doesn’t explain the several thousand pounds the Dorking Dentists have already squirrelled away in Swiss bank accounts, or the hundreds of people who no longer have teeth, despite there not being anything wrong with the teeth.

 

The case is on-going.