​07.00       Wake up quietly so as not to disturb my cell mate, Lenny, and put on my dun-coloured dressing gown and fuzzy felt slippers.



​07.30       Slop out in the sluice room, making sure I don't bang the pail against the stone receptacle. Another inmate pokes me in the eye but I don't cry out.



​08.00      Shower time and I notice the inmate I'd encountered earlier is there, singing loudly. Seems much quieter now. Must wash my hair, it appears to be a little matted.



​09.00       Governor announces 24 hour bang up while cells are searched for weapons. Something must have happened.



​11.00       Lenny wakes up and I roll him a few cigarettes. I wonder if the smoke irritates the cockroaches?



​12.00       Mr Jenkins the prison officer enters and tells me the governor would like to speak with me. I hope I haven't offended anyone. I also hope it doesn't take too long, as Lenny and I are getting married at 2pm. Lenny says it will make it nice and legal for when we do "snuggles". I don't like snuggles one bit.



​13.00     Mr Jenkins took me to see the governor and stood behind me while I was asked lots of questions. The governor seemed upset about one of the inmates being strangled in the shower block. He's much calmer and quieter now and so is Mr Jenkins. Will put on my wedding dress in a minute. Lenny says it looks very nice but I don't like it.



​14.30       Married Lenny at 2pm as planned. He wanted snuggles afterwards but I didn't want to. He seemed quite angry but I quietened him down. He's sleeping now.



​16.00       Prison doctor came to see Lenny then got some warders to carry him away. I don't think he's very well.



​18.00       They've put me in a nice quiet cell on my own. It's very basic and has no television but there's a toilet and a red light bulb so it's more than adequate for my needs.



​20.00      The doctor has been to see me and says I have to go to a special prison. I don't want to go as I like this one. The doctor was very tired and fell asleep on the floor. It'll be supper time soon. I'll eat mine very quietly so as not to wake him.



Nighty night

​

To be continued.