Dear Meg
I'm a 16 year old girl who's just started going out with my first serious boyfriend. He's kind, funny, quite good looking, and makes me feel really loved and special. The only drawback to our relationship is his fixation about my breasts. I'm a 38DD and he's forever trying to squeeze them, and keeps staring when I come running down the stairs to greet him.
Is it normal for a boy to behave like this, or should I ditch him and find someone a bit calmer?
Jayne Packer
Ruislip
Meg "He's Too Keen"
Dear Jayne
You disgusting, filthy little trollop! By parading and flaunting your body in front of this, quite clearly, sexually insane creature, you're not only behaving like a common, rutting, beast of the field, but you're piling disgrace on your whole family and women in general!
You're quite clearly a panting nymphomaniac and no better than a common street-walker. It's a wonder you dont sit in a lighted upstairs window at night, showing off your wares to all and sundry with a price list stuck to the wall behind you.
My advice to you, is to seek out a practitioner of female circumcision and have your overly active genitalia surgically altered, perhaps then you will no longer have the urge to behave like a common slut. It might even be an idea to have your knees sewn together while you're about it, just to be on the safe side, you rampant little bitch.
Fond Regards
Meg.
