A top market research team have claimed that Britain is a much unhappier place following the news that charges of historical sexual abuse against comedian Jim Davidson have been dropped.

 

A spokesperson for the company, Media-Poll, said last night. "We questioned thousands of people across the nation in an online survey and the results were absolutely conclusive. 99.7% of those polled said they felt absolutely pig sick when Davidson was cleared and 95.3% said they didn't think they'd ever really get over it"

 

Figures released by the National Health Service seem to substantiate this claim, with doctors reporting a huge spike in requests for anti-depressants, and  with hospital admissions at an all-time high, for both suicide attempts and domestic violence, allegedly as a direct result of the utter dismay felt by almost the entire populace at the news that Davidson wont be going to jail at some point.