Marceau knock-offs in Hackney, however, led to bafflement, incomprehension, & public frustration. There was also a nasty 'Be off with you!' drubbing incident when an old lady set about one of the mimes with her umbrella, having misunderstood his request to buy a cucumber at the market.
Some couples may actually be improved by bags on their head, argues 9-times divorced "relationship expert" Doris Nonymous (no relation - the Gillian McKeith of the matrimonial world). "It creates an air of mystery, & these days you're not just restricted to hemp & jute. Couples can feel free to jazz it up a bit with spandex & sequins!"
On a separate note, the Ministry of Matrimony is considering only allowing White Weddings if the bride is (a) a virgin, and (b) accompanied by a Jockey Club-certified unicorn.
Government Issue Veiled Threat
James Precious - September 2013
Bridal veils are to be banned, following public concern, according to the Ministry of Matrimony.
"You just can't be sure who's under there!" complained Dwayne Nonymous of Peckham, "They might swap your bit of stuff for some right old munter and trap you into wedlock with Boris Karloff's uglier sister."
Science has conclusively proved that veils fundamentally nobble all forms of interpersonal rapport and communication. Well, we say 'Science', but we just shoved a labcoat onto an old soak in Weatherspoons then got him to read our assumptions off the autocue, once he'd focussed to a tolerable level.
9/10ths of all communication is non-verbal, said a spokesperson for OFTCOBBLERS (the Bureau of Oft-Quoted but Bullshit Statistics). Field tests in the practical effectiveness of mute communication by a team of Marcel
