

By
Gary Hoadley
Dear Parishioner's,
The hall has seen many faces come and go, thank the lord we managed to persuade "The Kim Jong Ill appreciation society" to give up their vigil. The violence was a little over the top but at least no one was arrested. This Easter we see some new faces using the hall and I hope they will be made as welcome as all our previous residents. Please report abuse of the hall to me.
Rev H. Rancid
Monday:
6pm to 7pm The Dorking Crematorium Tap Dancers Club.
7pm to 8pm Herring Keepers AGM. (No pickling please)
8pm to 9pm The Four Skin Biological Forum.
Tuesday:
2pm to 4pm Dorking Anti Racist workshop. (No Midgets)
4pm to 6pm Leather Truss collectors Club. (Slides by Mr Trimbole)
Wednesday:
12pm to 2pm Pubic Wig Weavers General Meeting.
2pm to 6pm Dorking Sadists Wednesday Club. (Please keep the noise down)
7pm to 10pm Gay/Lesbian worm diviners. (All welcome no Trannies)
Thursday:
The hall will be closed to the Parishioners for the Dorking Vicars, Deacons and Vergers orgy please do not ask for admission this is an all ticket event. H.R.
Friday:
9am to 12pm Lower Dorking public toilet sitters club. (No old pennies please)
3pm to 4pm Box Hill blind unicycle crash and burn team. ( Reg Trollit R.I.P.)
7pm to 9pm Dorking Little bleeders Heamophiliac club. (Please bring a pint)
Saturday:
7pm to 10pm Dorking council estate punch up and Disco.
Sunday:
Hall closed for disinfecting and cleaning.
Please make sure you book your place in the hall for next week. If you fail to turn up you will lose your deposit. I will make an exception for the Dorking amnesiac dancing troupe.
H.R.
Daily Bread
