Britain’s first gay marriage after the change in the law, ended in disaster today, when the groom and groom turned up in matching outfits, and that wasn't the only problem.
Quentin Easily and Christian Chappell could not agree who got to stand at the altar and who got to walk down the aisle. There was even a disagreement as to who should pay for the wedding, given there was no bride’s father.
“There was a terrible row,” said Norman Chappell, father of the groom. “Both wanted to walk down the aisle. Both wanted to carry the bouquet and both wanted groommaids. Then there was the whole argument about the best man’s speech. Who was giving that?”
Ahead of the wedding, one by one, the problems were solved. Both Quentin and Christian would walk down the aisle with their father at their side, both would have bouquets, and both would have groommaids, and there would be two father's speeches,
Disaster At Britain's First Gay Marriage
Debbie Taylor - June 2013
solving the problem of having two best men. Many thought this would be the end of the problems, until both grooms turned up in matching navy blue suits with brown brogues. They even had matching pink cummerbunds.
“I think everybody thought ‘how cute’, they've come in matching outfits,” said Norman Chappell. “Until the two started screaming.”
According to the wedding video footage, which can’t be shown until it’s appeared on You’ve Been Framed in an attempt to recoup some of the cost of the wedding, the two grooms accused the other of trampling on their brown brogue toes. At no point did they realise that they must be very compatible to have independently selected the same outfits, right down to the cufflinks.
Mothers of the grooms were in tears, the fathers were at each other’s throats, with many a remark thrown that will be later regretted, and will have to be censored on the You’ve Been Framed episode.
Quentin and Christian called off the whole marriage, before heading back to the reception to hurl bits of broken wedding cake at each other.
“It’s a bit of a blessing they found out ahead of the consummation,” said Norman. “After all, although gay couples can now get married, until the divorce laws catch up, they can’t get divorced.”
The reception still happened, as quite a lot of food had been bought, and profiteroles don’t eat themselves. Even the disco went ahead, as Dipsy Diva, the transvestite DJ had been paid in advance, although neither groom was present for the first dance, which would have been to It’s Raining Men by the Weather Girls.
“It was a shame Christian didn't get to the disco,” said his father. “He’s quite the mover. As he showed during the hand flapping that he called fisticuffs.”
