A Pulitzer Prize winning, freelance, foreign correspondent has stunned the world of the printed media by announcing that not one of his stories were factual, and that he'd never even been abroad, not even for his holidays.
Clive "Olive" Damson, 48, a respected journalist with over 30 years service in Fleet Street, finally came clean during a heavy drinking session with fellow hacks in the legendary press watering hole, The Coal Hole, in The Strand West London, after which one of his drinking companions reported Damson to The Press Complaints Commission.
Speaking last night on Face The Press, Damson appeared unrepentant. "Yes it's absolutely true that not one of my stories has a single grain of truth in it. I made the whole lot up . All those tales of being under fire in The Middle East and being taken hostage in 3 separate African states were complete lies from start to finish. I even made up The Iran/Iraq War and got away with it. Well at the end of the day nobody's going to be daft enough to actually go to any of these places to check up are they?
"I used to tell various editors I was off to some war torn, failed state, while in actual fact I'd spend the day in the caff, drinking tea, eating fry-ups and playing on the fruitie.
Award Winning Hack Confesses: "I Made It All Up"
"It was money for old rope to be honest with you and I wish I'd thought of it earlier. I suppose false reporting must be in the blood as my granddad used to work on the crime desk of The Illustrated Police News in 1888, where he made up the entire Jack The Ripper series of murders while boozing with his mates in The Lord Rodney's Head in Whitechapel.
Damson has now announced his retirement and will be spending his leisure time in his bungalow in Eastbourne on the south coast of England.
"To be honest I've made enough money from being an award winning journalist to live anywhere in the world but I'm shit scared of going on aeroplanes" he said.
