An enterprising, small company in The Republic Of Ireland have just announced the launch of a fragrance with a real difference.

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Action Girl Ltd have aimed their new product at attractive women who are sick to the back teeth of having to put up with unwanted attention from men who they find deeply unattractive.



"Repulse" is made from a secret, closely guarded list of ingredients, although it's understood that elephant piss and powdered rhino scrotum are both used in it's production.



Colleen Carter, 24, the head of research told me. "Repulse is extremely effective in deflecting unwanted advances from men you absolutely dont want to sleep with. I've tested it's efficacy on a number of deeply hideous blokes in the office and it's been absolutely first class. One chap vomited into the waste-paper basket when I leaned across him to borrow his stapler, while another actually collapsed while sharing the lift with me and had to be taken to hospital. I've even found it useful in deterring my husband's advances when he comes home drunk following a shift on the pig farm."

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Repulse will retail at around £10 per 300ml can and will be available at most outlets, although women that have to spend time in the vicinity of Peter Stringfellow will be given a years supply free of charge on humanitarian grounds.