Legendary entertainer Bruce Forsythe, last night made the astonishing claim that he witnessed US President Barack Obama romping naked with his golf bag following a charity golf tournament in the north of England.



Speaking to reporters from outside his Surrey home, Forsythe, 187, said "Myself and a number of other people from the world of showbiz and politics had been playing in a charity tournament to raise money for starving kids in Africa. I was actually feeling pretty good, as I'd just beaten Labour Party leader Ed Milliband, 2 and 1, after a pretty close match. After the game I had a quick shower in the changing room and got dressed. It was just after I emerged that I spotted US President, Barack Obama, cavorting naked on the floor with my golf bag.



"As I watched in horror, I noticed my old friend, and fellow veteran entertainer, Jimmy Tarbuck, standing a few feet away looking on. He was clearly visibly aroused and was shouting out obscene words of encouragement to the president as he violated my bag. At this point I fled back into the shower room and vomited violently. I mean to say, it's not the sort of behaviour you expect from the leader of the free world is it?"

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President Obama gave a 10 minute address to the nation from The Oval Office last night, during which he seemed to justify the encounter. "Yes, my fellow Americans, it's absolutely true that I had sex with Bruce Forsythe's golf bag, but I was possessed by a demon at the time and therefore had no control over my actions. It was probably a succubus or something along those lines."



Jimmy Tarbuck's agent, Carter Nintendo, said "Jimmy freely admits that he watched Mr Obama indulging in a sex act with Mr Forsythe's bag, and that he may have pleasured himself while doing it. However he strongly refutes taking part himself, and would like to point out, that at the time, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world."



A spokesman for the the golf club, Wisteria Dunes, told reporters "The club cannot accept responsibility for member's, or guest's equipment, which has been left unattended, and is therefore absolutely crying out for a good scuttling from The President Of The United States"