As a key member of a world renowned boy band, it's very important that I set the right example to our millions of fans worldwide, so I always get up bright and early, around 11.30ish or so, having first made love to a couple of middle-aged women that I will have brought home from a night club.
I then jump in the shower where a middle-aged woman with no clothes on will invariably be waiting to be made love to. Then I'll just have time for a hurried snack and a quick romp with a few middle-aged women before I set off for the recording studio, where I'll meet up with the other lads to lay down a few tracks for our next album.
I'm usually pretty exhausted after this, so I like to go back to my pad and just chill with a nice glass of cold milk and a spot of leisurely hand relief from a middle-aged woman or two. Then it's off to bed at around 10.00pm where I like to read for a while before having sex with 4 or 5 of my loyal, middle-aged fans.
A Day In The Life Of Harry Styles Out Of One Direction
All in all it's a far from glamorous lifestyle to be honest with you, and can be downright dull at times, sitting in airport departure lounges, listening to record company execs, planning tour dates with our manager, and getting sucked off by women old enough to be my nan.
At least I've got a few weeks break coming up in March to look forward to. I'm thinking of doing some voluntary work as a way of putting something back into the community. Perhaps a nursing home or something along those lines. The way I look at it, just because some of these ladies are in the twilight of their years, it doesnt mean they wont enjoy a really good back scuttling bent over the piano does it?
Pic created/supplied by Pinxit
