NEWS SHITE
September 2013 Week 2
Entire Cast Of Coronation Street Held Amid Sexual Abuse Claims
Clive Danton - September 2013
The world of television was in shock last night after a spokesman for ITV revealed that the entire cast of iconic TV soap, Coronation Street, have been arrested following a complaint of sexual misconduct made by a 13 year old girl.
At a hastily called press conference he said "I can confirm thaat the entire cast of Coronation Street have been arrested on suspicion of sexual abuse of a minor. They have now been released on police bail pending further investigation into these charges. The entire cast are strenuously denying these allegations on the grounds that they were all round.....
Syria Used Old Ladies In Attack On Civilians Claims Weapons Inspectors
Clive Danton - September 2013
In a damning report,compiled by a United Nations weapons inspection team deployed in Syria, it is claimed that elderly women were used in a cynical attack on a civilian district in the capital Damascus. last Wednesday in a flagrant breach of The Geneva Convention.
The report states that a number of the bodies strewn around a popular street market, including children as young as 3, showed telltale signs of having been struck by shopping trollies while some of the.....
News Shite Week 1
Unnited States Launches Tactical Missile Strike On Sidcup
Clive Danton - September 2013
There were red faces all round at The White House last night as news emerged that a number of Tomahawk Cruise Missiles have smashed into the South London town of Sidcup, wiping out pretty much the entire population and causing widespread destruction to buildings, some of which dated back to the mid 90s. It's believed the incident took place after American military personal mistakenly thought they.....
Lady Gaga “My Bad Romance With A Homeless Brit Vagrant”
Clive Danton - September 2013
The showbiz world was in turmoil last night as eccentric pop princess, Lady Gaga, revealed to the press that on her last tour of the uk she conducted a tawdry love affair with a 67 year old homeless, alcoholic she'd met outside the O2 Arena following last year's barnstorming, sellout gig.
The diva left reporters open-mouthed as she.....
