NEWS SHITE
September 2013 Week 3
News Shite Week 2
Apple Launch iPhone 6
Debbie Taylor - September 2013
Apple have unveiled their latest iPhone, claiming that it's the most advanced iPhone yet to hit the market. And if Apple are to be believed, it is the most advanced iPhone yet to hit the market.
“We have redesigned the entire phone from the ground up,” said Anne Droyed, head of Apple’s innovations department. “Every aspect has been changed, from the screen.....
BBC Hire Cockney Newsreader
Gary Hoadley - September 2013
In a surprise move, the BBC has employed an East End Cockney to read the local lunchtime news. Programme editors feel the lowlife accent and down to earth attitude might help boost flagging ratings.
Mr Clive Danton, 25, from West Ham was chosen after attending several auditions in London in which veiled threats were made and a large "sweetener" was offered to BBC execs by various members.....
Subbuteo Table Soccer To Introduce First Gay Player
Clive Danton - September 2013
In a groundbreaking move announced last night, table soccer icons, Subbuteo, have revealed plans to include a gay player in the next incarnation of their world famous football game. A spokesperson for the company told assembled media.
"We live in a diverse and far more enlightened world these days and we want to reflect this by including a gay player in one of the teams for our 2014 edition. Although we dont wish to draw undue attention to the sexuality of the player, he will be instantly recognisable by his distinctive pink.....
Government Issue Veiled Threat
James Precious - September 2013
Bridal veils are to be banned, following public concern, according to the Ministry of Matrimony.
"You just can't be sure who's under there!" complained Dwayne Nonymous of Peckham, "They might swap your bit of stuff for some right old munter and trap you into wedlock with Boris Karloff's uglier sister.
"Science has conclusively proved that veils fundamentally nobble all forms of interpersonal rapport and.....
News Shite Week 1